Things You Shouldn't Say To Police Officers

1. You'll never get those cuffs on me...

2. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

3. Fill it up with supreme - and check the oil while you're at it.

4. Is it possible to get you to do one of those "body cavity searches"?

5. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

6. What do you mean "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

7. Wow! You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

8. Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?

9. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school.

10. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

11. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

12. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

13. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

14. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.