List Land

Closeted Badasses: 6 Famous Wusses That Would Own You

2007-12-17T16:03:00.000-08:00

Every guy has done it: You're watching TV when some metro-sexual nancy boy comes dancing across the screen to the delight of every female in the room. "What's that pussy got that I don't?" is usually the question we're left asking. Here are the 6 wusses that would own you... biatch!

Things You Shouldn't Say To Police Officers

2007-12-17T15:55:00.000-08:00

1. You'll never get those cuffs on me...

2. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

3. Fill it up with supreme - and check the oil while you're at it.

4. Is it possible to get you to do one of those "body cavity searches"?

5. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

6. What do you mean "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

7. Wow! You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

8. Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?

9. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school.

10. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

11. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

12. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

13. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

14. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Time For Some Thanksgiving Lists!

2007-11-20T11:09:00.000-08:00

Here's a list of "10 Movies I'm Thankful For"...I found it on my friend flickslists blog. There really are some great movies on this list!

Top 10 Grossest Halloween Candies

2007-10-31T13:27:00.000-07:00

Not necessarily the taste...but more the idea of some of these candies. Check out this list of the Top 10 Grossest Halloween Candies.

2007-10-29T21:16:00.001-07:00

More Halloween Costumes?

2007-10-29T21:06:00.001-07:00

Oh yes...I know, I know. Enough Halloween lists already! Yeah right. In two days you'll be missing these lists for a whole year. If you still don't have a costume and you want to be the cool kid at your Halloween party, here is a list of the Top 10 Halloween Costumes for Sports Fans. (Just don't wear the A-Rod costume to your kid's school Halloween Carnival.)

10 Tips to Carve the perfect Pumpkin

2007-10-28T15:13:00.000-07:00

I'm going to carve some pumpkins tonight so here are some tips for the perfect Jack-O-Lantern...

1. Choose a large pumpkin . The bigger the pumpkin, the easier it is to carve. Avoid any pumpkins with bruises or moldy stems as they will spoil much faster. Pumpkins with a lighter color tend to be softer and easier to carve.

2. When cutting out the top, place the knife at a 45 degree angle so the the lid will have a place to rest when you replace it. If you cut straight down, the lid will fall through.

3. When cleaning the pumpkin, save the seeds. Toasted pumpkin seeds make a healthy as well as tasty snack. Use a large, heavy metal serving spoon or ice cream scoop to scrape the insides. If you will be lighting the pumpkin, the back wall should be scraped as smooth as possible since this is where the light will be reflected. A 1-inch thickness of the pumpkin wall is optimum.

4. For longer life, soak the cleaned pumpkin for a couple of hours in a bleach water solution of 1 teaspoon bleach to 1 gallon of water. Dry thoroughly, then rub inside and out, including all cut edges, with vegetable oil or petroleum jelly to prevent shriveling. If the pumpkin begins to shrivel, repeat the process. The soaking time will depend upon how dried out the pumpkin has become.

5. Beginners should select a simple, bold pattern. Once you master the simple patterns, you can move on to something more difficult.

6. Print out or draw the pattern on a piece of paper. Use small sharp scissors or a razor knife to cut out the areas you will be carving into the pumpkin. Tape the template onto the pumpkin and use a marker to trace the carving lines. Cutting slits in the paper will help it to conform to the round surface.

7. As an alternative, you can tape the outline to the pumpkin and use a nail or large pushpin to score the carving lines onto the pumpkin. Connect the dots as you carve.

8. A long serrated knife or a pumpkin-carving knife with teeth will be necessary to cut through the thick flesh. Use a sawing motion and take your time cutting along the outside edge of the marker lines so there is no marker residue.

9. Consider cutting off the bottom of the pumpkin, as well as the top. The pumpkin will be more stable and also easier to carve. If you plan on using a candle to light your jack'o'lantern, be sure the opening in the bottom is large enough to fit over the candle. Place the candle on a fire-proof base large enough to accomodate the pumpkin. You can then easily lift off the jack-o'-lantern to light the candle.

10. If you will be lighting your jack-o'-lantern with a candle, be sure to leave the lid off to avoid any fire hazard. Use a votive candle in a glass holder or tea lights in a metal case. If you want to leave the lid on, carve a hole in the unseen back side of the pumpkin to act as a chimney. Never leave a candle-lit jack-o'-lantern unattended for any length of time.

Trick or Treat?

2007-10-24T23:36:00.000-07:00

The last list was all about the treats...but what about the tricks?! Time to get the toilet paper and eggs ready for Wednesday...Here is a list of Great Pranks...

"The Indian Chief is worth a free Tootsie Pop!"

2007-10-24T23:29:00.000-07:00

You know you've heard that before...click here to see if its true. Halloween is right around the corner, so I thought I'd post a list for the "trick or treater" in all of us. So here is the Top 10 Candy Urban Legends...

The 5 Creepiest Urban Legends (That Turned Out To Be True)

2007-10-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

Here are five of the creepiest tales and urban legends that really happened to real people, proving once and for all that nothing is more terrifying than everyday life.

Top 10 Ways to Spot a Comedian

2007-10-19T13:36:00.000-07:00

I'm not a comedian, but I share many of the tendencies of comedians...Check out the list here!

Reason's I Love Bacon...

2007-10-19T00:46:00.001-07:00

Publicity Stunt? More like Publicity Hump!

2007-10-19T00:37:00.000-07:00

Sex tapes have blown up over the past few years. This list salutes those celebrities that have made one but would still be offended if you called them porn stars.

Trigger Treat...

2007-10-19T00:02:00.000-07:00

It's almost Halloween! Time to pick that perfect costume...you know, the one that will make everyone laugh. Grab your Michael Vick jersey and one of those invisible dog leashes! (actually not that bad of an idea) Here is a list of Halloween costumes that everyone will be wearing even though we wish they wouldn't...

"Nice to meet you...pull my finger!"

2007-10-18T23:48:00.001-07:00

Inappropriate Times To Have Gas...This is a funny list.

Why'd They Do It?

2007-10-18T23:22:00.000-07:00

Home Alone 2- Classic. Caddyshack 2-Not so much. Sometimes you just wonder...what in the world were they thinking? See if you agree with this list of Horrible Movie Sequels.

iMac, iBone, iRack, iPhone...

2007-10-18T23:10:00.000-07:00

There was so much hype surrounding the launch of the Apple iPhone that I just didn't want one...I don't know why (1. AT&T sucks 2. I'm not good at touchscreens) ...usually I have to have the latest and greatest gadget...I think I'll wait for the Zune Phone! Here is a funny list of improvements that need to be made to the iPhone. Check it.

2007-10-17T14:24:00.000-07:00

Top 10 Signs You've Chosen The Wrong College

10 Killer Tools To Make Your Blog Cool

2007-10-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

Here is a simple list of 10 ways to make you blog cool. Some of these tools might bring traffic, some might make your blog viral, one might even make your blog money!

Do You Have Your Own Website?

2007-10-16T13:35:00.001-07:00

If you do...then you've got to check out this list of 69 Tools to Moniter, Measure, and Track Your Website.

10 Animals You Don't Want To F#ck With...

2007-10-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

Check out this lis t of The Top 10 Deadliest Animals...you might be surprised to find out what the number One is.

Ridiculously Fun Old School Nintendo Games

2007-10-16T00:10:00.000-07:00

Ok...I'm so excited! I just got an original NES still in the box off of ebay. Now I just need to build my game collection up to the force that it once was. This list of Ridiculously Fun Old School Nintendo Games will be super helpful in replenishing the 'ol game tower, and it also brought back some great memories from back in the day...Enjoy

Another one of Letterman's Top 10 Lists...changed for the better

2007-10-11T16:03:00.001-07:00

Top 10 Signs Your Team Won't Win The World Series

Who will be this years Mr. October?

2007-10-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

The 10 Greatest World Series Moments

If you like The Family Guy...You'll love these!

2007-10-11T15:10:00.000-07:00

The 10 Best Family Guy Musical Moments

Top 10 Heisman Trophy Candidates

2007-10-11T15:05:00.000-07:00

College Football is in full swing...here is a list of the Top 10 Heisman Trophy Candidates updated every week.

The Combover...

2007-10-11T14:59:00.000-07:00

I've always had a certain respect for "the combover". The time spent daily getting each and every hair in place....It's practically an artform. But you have to know that everyone around you knows you're bald. So why try and hide it? Oh well...These individuals made a commitment...Fooling nobody, amazing everybody! Check out this list of amazing combovers here.

Drinking While Famous

2007-10-10T12:07:00.000-07:00

Real Life "Celebrity Deathmatch"

2007-10-09T14:00:00.000-07:00

The Ten Most Improbable Celebrity Fistfights

Sometimes Letterman's Top 10 isn't the best...

2007-10-09T12:49:00.000-07:00

Actually, it's closer to the worst...I found this list site where the users can create lists of anything they want. Here is a list that Letterman did on his show, but the reasons are different and better. Check out the list here, and the site here.